Forever And Always

It's 2 am now.
2 more papers to go;
my batteries are running low.

It's draining all of me...

You seems really tired lately.
I guess your batteries are running low too.
I'll drain all the energy I have left for you, if it could lift your spirits up again...


Went dancing again today. Alone, as always. This might be the last time I'll ever dance in Akasia's badminton hall.

I'm gonna miss it a lot when I leave.
Gonna miss the tall row of mirrors, smooth grey floor and carpeted little stage at the corner.

It's the place that I used to go, seeking solace.
The next best thing I'd found here.

I stayed there for more than 2 hours, repeating routine after routine. It's strange that they didn't tire me out today. Maybe I was just too absorbed, it even made me forget how weary I am, until much later anyway.
It's a good thing no one's there playing badminton, it's always like this during exam period. I could have the whole hall all to myself. ^_^

My personal dance studio for the very last time.

You told me most of the Blackpool dancers are married couples. Yea typical. But I kinda find it really sweet and romantic.

I believe that dancing do cultivate love.
Just as I always believe that dances will only come to life if there is love.

How nice. Husband and wife, with the same passion and aim.

Taylor Swift's "Forever And Always" is oh-so-heartbreaking.
Apparently it was the song she wrote after her painful breakup with Joe Jonas. (according to the press)
Sound like she'll never believe in forever and always anymore.

Baby, what happened? Please tell me
'Cause one second it was perfect
Now you're halfway out the door

And I stare at the phone and he still hasn't called
And then you feel so low, you can't feel nothin' at all
And you flashback to when he said, forever and always

Oh, and it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always

you didn't mean it baby

Now I see.
Some broken-hearted people write songs.
Some broken-hearted people cry.
And some broken-hearted people bite themselves...

No they ain't mad. Just hurt...

I love "The Best Day". It's pure and sweet. And inspiring. A song she wrote for her mum. At least not all her songs are about boys.. lolx.

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today

One day, I'll write a song for you too, mum.

It's 2 am. I'm holding Yaw Yaw in my arms. It's warmer with him here. Like part of your warmth is here with me, even when you are thousands of miles away.
So I hugged on tighter.

I pray that you are warm and snug too,
sleeping peacefully in your bed through the autumn night.

I wish I could go back to the dance again. And make it last forever.
Back to the days of blue sweater and little black skirt.
Wet pants under the little fragile umbrella. And yet big enough smiles. Rainbow smiles.

*lolx... I'm so random...*

Some people do still believe in forever and always -
Dummy me. ^_^


Don't ask me why I do. I just do.
My love for you could last forever and always...

Was... Is...

华文，好久没用了。都快要忘记怎么写了。唉唉……

多久，没有写周记了。曾经很坚持过，每每写得手也发痛。
那些早已过去的日子。就这么一年又一年了。


师父说得对，一年真的可以改变很多东西。一年那么长，而人啊，往往又那么善变。


有些东西都已好久没有提起。
不再了，便不是了。没关系，现在都已不再重要了。其实也许还是没有改变的，只是我在变。

有些感觉都已变质。
有时因为懂了太多； 也是因为懂得太少。可又有谁没有年轻单纯愚昧过呢？


现在终也明白，很多人事物，原来放下了，真的是退一步海阔天空。

放下了，心如止水。

原来早已逃开了枷锁。因为心有了免疫呀。


我觉得我长大了。很庆幸我长大了。

I was a dreamer, but now I keep my feet back on the ground again...

我不会再回头看。只有往前望。我那珍贵的有你手心珍而重之； 挽扶我的手有亲爱的父。若果幸福都已来了，我怎还需惧怕？

我前方还有好多好多未来。一定还有好多好多美好。

那么……别了, 往事。

Angels and Fairies

I tell you, I'm so jobless. Shouldn't be, since I'm not on vacation or watsoever now, I'm on a study week...OMG, STUDY WEEK!!! And I'm more like holiday-ing...


Been wondering what level I am actually in. To be frank, I have no idea about it. Well, it's understandable though actually, cause it's not like I have any systematic syllabus to stick to in my studio.


But I'd pretty much figured out that I'm Bronze. Maybe not silver yet, though I do know just a little of the syllabus in Silver. Not beginner's either... *I hope...no I'm not that noob...>.<*


And again, somewhere caught in between... Wonder why is it always like this???

Geee, why am I here wondering what level I am in, when the only level I have to worry about now is my A-LEVELS!!!


Loco loco loco...!!! Think I'm going loco... T.T

*Michael Wentink and Beata were awesome in their WSSDF 2002 & WSSDF 2004 Samba!!!*
*Michael wore rugged jeans for WSSDF 2004!!! (=.=) but I ADORE Beata's colourful sleeves, made her look like some flower fairy!!! *

Beata always have real great costumes...

Here's the only photo of the show that I found...

Btw, love Declan!!!

*All the sweet honey from above, pour it all over me sweet love...*
*sometimes I wish I were an angel, sometimes I wish I were you...*

*love of my life, don't leave me, you've taken my heart, and now you desert me...*
*would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven...*


And to you,

Standing in the light of your Halo, I got my angel now... ^_^

The same passion

Been such a long time I hadn't blogged.
Not that I didn't have the time. I practically spent most of my time online, and procrastinating; despite the exams going on full steam...

*should slap myself for that >.<*


But the Blackpool, Russia Open, Grand Slam, WSS Festival... were all soooooo exciting I couldn't take my eyes off them. Ended up spending a few hours every night just watching with mouth gaping at Carmen Vincelj & Bryan Watson, Yulia & Ricardo Cocchi, Michael Wentink & Beata...etc... executing their excellent footwork on the Floor... *was practically drooling OMG*


It's always an amazing thing streaming latin dance videos. I do watch other dance comps too, other than the Professional's category. From Bronze to Amateur; Junior to Senior... they never fail to captivate me.

The same dances; Cha Cha, Rumba, Samba, Paso Doble and Jive; but so very different dancers.


Some dancers are dramatic and more expressive, like Carmen.
Some dancers are downright HOT, like Yulia.
Some dancers are really skillful, like Joanne and Beata.
Some dancers have lightning speed, like Michael and Ricardo.
Some male dancers have excellent hips movements, like Bryan.


And more,
Some people acknowledge the spectators humbly; some acknowledge them pridefully.
Some male dancers present their partners to the applausing crowd; some steal her limelight.
Some dancers have costumes that are so lovely I wish I could have them too; some dancers wear costumes that made me laugh.
Some people are near perfect, some people stumble.
But I know that all the dancers were trying their best as they presented their dances.


Sometimes I wonder how much effort they put into their practise before the moment of glam and glory. I guess all of them did make quite a lot.

And sometimes I wonder how would I look like if I were ever in a dance comp. What would I wear, who would I dance with...
*Hope I won't be one of those who stumble and drop out >.<*
One thing I know, I'll surely be happy. It's always my dream, my passion.
I'll surely do my best too. Just like everyone else did. ^_^

*yeah, I'm still striving hard for my dream... I've only been learning discontinuously for 4 months to be exact, I know I still got a long way to go, but I'm not gonna give up. *


So, the dancers might have different routines, different costumes, different level of skills, come from different countries, different skin colour, some might win, some might lose, some are young, some are older, some are confident, some are nervous, some are beginners, some are professionals.....
But one thing I know about all the thousands of dancers out of the hundreds of dance comp videos I'd streamed --- they all have the same passion towards latin dancing, which was what brought them there in the very first place.
*A big salute for all the dance lovers out there!!! ^_^*


Okay, enough of analysing dance comps I watched, gotta get back to nerding... =.=
Biology W2, Statistics 1 and Chemistry Practical 6A next week.
Wish me luck!!!

Fragments of thoughts...

I hate smokers. But there are lots of them around. Puffing away at Pak Li. Bothering me, didn't stay there long.
No need to pity them smokers if they got lung cancer... >.<


Akasia line was down for 3 days. *unbearable* Luckily now it's back. So i'mma continue blogging. ^_^

I'm jobless.
It's too hot here. I can't pay attention to nerding. Interview's coming. And I haven't really done anything.

*what to wear, what to wear?* Haha... I told you I am jobless...


Last week, I lost my umbrella, was left in the wet rain.
Drenched.
Dripping love...

Streaming Blackpool Finals in Youtube. Yulia's hot & Carmen's great. Excelente!
Jive was amazingly fast.. Such speed... *wow*

I hope someday I could be like them...
*even half like them is enough...>.<*

Comps at the end of this year? ^__^ Hopefully.
Crossing my fingers and praying hard.


And now alone in the silence of the night, lost in silent thoughts...
42-day Cruise... Cherry Blossom Festival...
How interesting! Woulda love it so, if only it could come true.

And London and Paris and Barcelona and Las Vegas and Genting Highlands...

I'll be waiting... Bearing hopes and dreams of mine ......

4511 - 3197

Good night, carino.

I'm sure you are asleep by now. *grins*
Sleep tight...

What are people going to do?

Using both positive and negative characteristics, describe what six people are going to do and what they are doing: a woman, a man, a girl, a boy, you and me. Ex. The man is going to buy a car. The woman is not buying flowers.

El hombre va a viajar en el automóvil. No va a caminar. No va a ir en la bicicleta tambien.

La mujer y la niña están en la mesa. La mujer va a comer, no está comiendo. Pero la niña no va a comer, está satisfecha.

El niño no va a jugar, está enfermo. Así que el está durmiendo en la cama.

Tengo el cabello corto ahora. Espero tener el cabello largo en el futuro.

¿Qué vas a hacer? Voy a sentarme en el sofá. No voy a correr, estoy cansada.

¿Qué va a hacer ella? Ella va a comprar un libro y leerlo en la mesa marrón.

Te voy a subir por la escalera. No estás parado en la escalera.

¿Qué va a hacer él? El va a comprar las flores rojas en la caja por el esposo. El espera el esposo esta feliz.

No te voy a escribir sobre la mesa, voy a leer un periódico en la silla.


*Seeking help from Pro people again!!! Anyone can review for me? You who just finished your Spanish test... can help help? Thanks a lotta ya! *

Jiyi is working hard on her Spanish...
Y bailar tambien!!!

This Masquerade

I'd always love masquerades. They sound really mysteriously exciting for me. Wonder if I could ever have the chance to attend one...? *dreaming of the 'Black & White Ball' in Another Cinderella's Story... ^_^ *

Si, I'm currently obsessed with yet another Carpenters' song, other than 'I Need To Be In Love'... *which is already playing in my head for the past few days... lolx...*

I can say that Karen's got the MOST WONDERFUL VOICE EVER ON EARTH!!! The best voice I've ever heard so far. No wonder people describe her voice as "liquid velvet"... It's so soothing it made me cry. *Seriously...*


Ann Murray's quite close to hers, but I still prefer Karen. Maybe coz of her songs, but I do love Murray's Broken Hearted Me...
Oh btw, if you guys haven't figured out yet, I LOVE OLDIES..

Are we really happy with
This lonely game we play
Looking for the right words to say
Searching but not finding
Understanding anyway
We're lost in this masquerade

Both afraid to say we're just too far away
From being close together from the start
We tried to talk it over
But the words got in the way
We're lost inside this lonely game we play

throughts of leaving disappear
Each time I see your eyes
And no matter how hard I try
To understand the reason
Why we carry on this way
And we're lost in this masquerade

We tried to talk it over
But the words got in the way
We're lost inside this lonely game we play


We're lost in a masquerade

Why oh why would you die, Karen?
It's such a pity for such beautiful voice...
*sheds tears*

Viva La Español !!!

Sí. My Spanish is pretty much alive again, after it's deep slumber for like, how many months?

(though self-learning is slow as a snail... and my Spanish is still at the stage of like, standard 1 or 2 English?! Sigh, sigh, sigh... ) *Been working on it... Gotta have patience!*

Well, at least I can write simple 50 words paragraphs decribing people, things, what people are doing etc... and err, simple self-introduction... anyway, I'm loving it all the same!!!

Me encanta, me encanta!


Yes, I have a thing for Spanish. I actually love the languages. Spanish, Chinese, English...
I'm more of a language person I suppose, which explains why I can still get into the top positions during secondary school even with not-so-good results (Awww man, I can barely scrape an A2) in my Add Maths (urgh...) and Chemistry (Double urgh...).


Too bad these are like the 2 out of 3 core subjects I'm taking now in A-Levels...
*Yea yea yea, great luck! *


Sigh, guess I'll just have to work extra hard on them. Gotta tackle them, tackle them. Thank God at least Biology lets me breathe a little... ~Ahhh~


Which reminds me; OMG !!! Externals coming in 1 MONTH'S TIME !!!

OMG OMG OMG... I'm always chasing after time...

Neways, before I get back to nerding, let me practise a little on my Spanish... ^_^

Exercise 1 :

Using both positive and negative characteristics, describe what six people are doing:

La mujer está durmiendo en la cama morada. No está sentado en el sofá rojo. El hombre está comiendo la comida en la mesa marrón. No está comiendo los dulces sobre la caja blanca. Las niñas están jugando sobre la cama anaranjada. No están corriendo. El niño está bebiendo en la silla. No está sentado en el sofá. Las flores son moradas y están sobre la mesa verde, no sobre la cama negra. Él no está caminando, está parado. No estoy sonriendo. Estoy llorando. Estoy leyendo un libro en la silla. No estoy escribiendo con bolígrafo en la mesa.

To all pro people out there, please review for me if you all have the time!
Gracias in advance!

It's all coming back to me...

It's Jive again. After for what seems like years.
These rusty moves. These harden bones.
It had been too long.
Brushed the dust off my dear shoes... and my dream.

I'm back. And ready to strive...

The kicks, the spins and the swivels.
The music, the mood and the liveliness.
It's all coming back to me now.

But still, I didn't do well, enough.

Been dancing for the past few days. All alone.
Not that I could find anyone to dance with me here.
People looked at me weirdly,
but I'm not gonna care about them.

This is my world, they wouldn't understand.

Focus work. Never giving up.
Looking waiting, for that one chance to come by.
Not forgetting to pray hard to dear Father who always listens.
He is the one who understands me most.
You too.

Just a little extra for Samba.
Same old routines,
renewed energy.

I'm going to make it someday.

Am still waiting and praying.

And I wish I could dance again...

Been ages this gurl hadn't posted any 'this-is-my-life' entries up to her blogger, so she'll might as well write one for all the dear readers outta there who might be wondering if she is still alive or not... lolx... jk jk... ^_^

Yupz, I'm very much alive and active.
Thanks for your concerns.


This is the 2nd last day of my mid-sem break *cries out loud* so I'll just sum up on all the procrastinating and unproductive life of the past week. >.< (Am not going to mention about the previous 2 weeks when I was entrapped in a jail of Nelsons, notes and pyq... Each day waking up and being dragged out of jail to undergo trial after trial in an excruciatingly cold chamber before being sent back to the lonely jail again, awaiting and dreading the trials to face the next day... *shivers* )


Back to the story.







The best way to start an unproductive lifestyle is to SLEEP A LOT!!! And that is what I did... Who can resist the beauty of sleeping when you have such an adorable sleepmate to cuddle up with? *winks*














Too bad you aren't here with me...













And since I'm back in beloved Ipoh after such a long time, surely I have to eat all the good food!!!
Tauge chicken, sa hor fun, pan mee, siew toufu, roasted pork, ku lou pork, soft-shell crab, butter prawn, dumplings, curry mutton, oyster porridge... and all my mummy's home-made dishes!

Yum yum...!

*you won't get fat if you don't think about getting fat...* ------- Lame theory of mine but a good excuse to continue eating without feeling guilty... hehe...

Another best activity --- lepak-ing!!! Monday Parade, Tuesday Parade, Thursday JJ, Saturday Tesco...!
Okay, I know I really am wasting time... =.=

But OMG, lately I'm so very into sports wear! (though lazy me don't actually do sports, except dancing, swimming, ping pong and... ^_^) Yes I don't do sports, but I can still like sports wear rite? Lolx...
All these lepak-ing makes me realise there are lotsa nice tops for sale; Schwarzenbach, Ogival and my dearest Nike! But I gotta save gotta save gotta save!

So I'd been struggling for quite a long time whether or not to get myself this really nice sleeveless Nike hoodie that I saw a month ago... And after lotz of decision-making, I'm finally the proud owner of the dark-grey hoodie, after figuring out that white is harder to maintain.
It's super comfy and sporty and a little sexy... cheerz to another priced possesion of mine! *gotta save up on food when I get back to SA to make up for the cash loss... sniff sniff...*

I'll wear it to show you someday... lolx...


And oh yea, I saw my dear Sifu on Thursday!
It was Thursday nite and I was going to JJ to check out my Nike hoodie. Bumped into her right at the main entrance. She told me the kids at studio were going to be performing for some charity thingy and since I'm so coincidently there, I might as well go and support.

Turned out that I stood there watching the performance for the rest of the night, along with a couple of old friends whom I met there. Most of the dances that night was Latin, there was one nice Tango, by the senior students. It was nice.
But too bad that in between the dances, there are lots of kids and teens singing, which I find very BORING! They were just standing there shouting the songs out in their loud kids' voice, all dressed up like dolls, and some doing lame dances which are so not-up-to-standard compared to the latin dances... Spent the time chatting with my friends throughout the singing performances... Lolx...

It had been quite some time I hadn't seen my studio friends and all of them were glad and surprised to see that I'm back. (this old and tall junior of theirs who 'disappears' to KL very often... and magically 'reappears' every half a year later... sobz..)

Sorry. I didn't really have a choice. I love dancing and I really do miss dancing at the studio all the time. If only I have the time, I'll surely go as often as I could.
It's just that I have other things on hand. Not now, maybe later... Someday I'll be back, don't worry.


Sifu caught me in the crowd when a little girl dressed as a princess was shouting some mandarin song onstage. Caught me right when I was consuming a 150kcal McD ice-cream...OMG. *paiseh >.<*
She shot me a disapproving look... Sorry Sifu, I'll watch my weight... *blushes blushes*

I remember the last time she said I had put on weight, it was when she was fetching me back home from studio. And she told me the cheapest way of losing weight is to go jogging by the Kinta River, which is practically right opposite my house..
Ahem, she didn't know that jogging was my most-hated sports ever... =.=
Oh, and I remember that You too always advised me to go jogging...
Okay okay, maybe I should listen to you all and go try someday... for the sake of my abs... OMG..

She told me about the latest happenings at the studio... which made me miss that place even more. Sigh sigh sigh......Jiyi is feeling darn emo...

I WANT TO GO BACK TO STUDIO AND LEARN MY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! How on earth am I going to get any further if I am so discontinuous???!!

Okay, no ranting. Ranting isn't going to help in any way.
And I know you don't like me complaining.
I'll just pray hard.
& Strive hard.
I'll make you proud.

I believe that one day, I will have all my dreams come true. As long as I have the determination. This is something that You taught me... ^_^ wonder if you realise it or not...

I am never lost, with Father and my guardian angel beside me... *smiles*
Gracias!!!

* In the meantime, I'm gonna polish up the routines I had learnt... practise makes perfect right? And I'm still a long way to perfection... Yay, light up and gear up!!! *

Donde eres, carino?

Pink letter on my desk. Little white paper within.
Right there waiting. De mi casa.
I'm home. Finally, back home...

It's the 16th today.

:) in my arms. Donde Que Que?
Right here waiting. Esperar (wishing)...
If only I could spend this time with you.

Sleep darling, sleep tight.

It's all right.
Till the next 16th then...

Te Extrano

Poisson, poisson, poisson.

In French, there is this word Poisson, (read as pwah-sohn), which means "fish".

No, no. Not fish. There's no fish here. It's Statistics.
X~ Poi ( λ)


Heavy books. Heavier eyelids.
Even heavier heart.

I wonder.


A pack of cold rice, untouched.
I'm yearning for the untouchable now. Too bad.


Left with my right atrium and right ventricle. But they're still beating. These troubled heartbeats of mine.


I heard a sound from home just now.
Not a sound from beyond. No music to my ears, as you always say.

Have I ever told you?
Te extrano mucho mucho.

Buenas noche, carino.

Dear Sifu

There are things I'd always wanted to tell you.
I saw this note I wrote in my diary today, and it reminds me of the things that you once told me. Maybe the storms are over for you now, neways, this late message is still, about the things I just wanted you to know.
That day during new year I went to your house, and I see that you are happy enough. It's comforting to know that. I hope you can always be as happy. God bless.


22-8-2008

师父，你总给我一种无忧无虑的感觉。我印象中的你，总像个活在通话世界里的孩子，自己制舞衣，自己教自己喜欢的学生，跳自己喜欢的舞…… 总是那么自在愉快。有时总让我很羡慕。可这一次，我竟看见了你无忧无虑背后的一面。你说我听了那么多，我才懂，原来你也有你的烦恼，你也有你的悲伤。

师父呀，你总对人人都好。

可是你懂吗，不是人人都懂得回报你的好。未必的。你要明白世界的残酷啊！记得吗，我总说你常想人家比想自己还要多，这样总会让你很容易受伤的。像现在一样。对不起呀，可是我只得告诉你，这就是世界的现实。很多时候，你真的不能对人太无私的好，会让你遍体鳞伤的。这是我一早便学懂的道理。师父呀，你也要学着。在经历了这一切以后，我想你会吧！

当时你问我：“我是不是很好？是不是对人都太好？”

我点点头，当然赞同。

你便一脸疑惑了：“可是为什么别人还要这样反过来伤害我？”

我想你一定是摸不着为什么。我也无法回答你什么。我也不懂。世界要残酷，也许真的不需要什么理由。谁人要伤害你，要背叛你…… 也往往不须要太多的理由。

师父，只求你能坚强。
不要因一次的挫败而永垂不起。
不要放弃你的爱。
也请继续你的好。

只是，你要学习看清楚这一个世界。当中，有许许多多的丑陋与险恶…… 那些不由得你来掌控的剧情，…… 你都要一一看清。


你是一个很有大爱的人。如你，上帝必会看顾。 我也会为你祈祷。祈求你不会再这样受伤害。
继续坚强吧！继续坚守信念吧！继续爱着吧！

I'm glad you got through.
Proud of you. ^_^

Día Uno

It's Day 1.
I'm still not back.
I wanna dance. These tired feet.
This weary heart.
A lifeless Rhumba.

Good thing you weren't here to see.

I can't possibly Jive.
At least not now.
Little children always Jive better, I think.
Their Jive's always lighter. Maybe cuz their minds are.
My batteries are down;

But my phone's always charged.

Blue sweater on my bed.
Precious things snug in my heart.
Guess I can get through.
I'll be coming back soon. Your angel of all seasons.
Bless me, pray for me.
I'll not make you worry.

The next Rhumba's gonna be better. I promise.

Just wanna quote a sentence from Elisa's lyrics:
"Life goes on, here and beyond that horizon..."

And so we will. ^_^

la última nosotros vez que bailó...

When was the last time we danced?


Do you still remember?
The little black dress.
The blue sweater.
La Rhumba? Sí, la Rhumba.


There's this rain. Pouring rain.
There's this umbrella. Small and frail.
There's this smile. Rainbow.

Wet pants. Even wetter feet.

Sliding, spinning across the floor. New York, a Sliding Door...

Had been so long ago.



I've been dancing alone...

I'm saving every last dance...

For You.

Randomness

It's already 1.11am now.... the weather is so hot that I can't possibly sleep. Yet again, I can't nerd can't think can't eat can't do anything I'm so tired.


Apparently there are so many things I gotta do; I need to nerd chemistry biology prepare my ctu presentation stuff try not to read off the slides tat's kinda a waste of my time gotta get this feeling off my mind gotta stop being emo for someone's sake gotta work on three tips - feel, walk and carry, gotta get this song out of my head I would so want to dance and work on those dance steps omg i'm already so deteriorated I won't be able to even face my sifu and my split it's been so long I havent done it don't know whether I can do it anymore awww... I was so near to a complete perfect split I don't wanna start all over again the process is so painful I am already in so much pain I dont need any anymore God please help me there are so many things I gotta learn and so many things I have to endure and I promised to stay happy gotta keep it I want to acheive my dreams and my only hope you know what it is *wink* I want to enter latin dance competitions but I'm so far from my dream but I won't give up it cannot be I just need more time oh yes time is what I need cuz for one more time so many things I want to do for one more time if only I have one more day everyday I will have forever still remember? gotta wake up early tomorrow william and ctu am already exhausted thinking of that can I ponteng but if so, I much wanted to ponteng friday at least the weekend will be longer no I shouldn't dream about that though I so wanted to *maybe I should* I'm afraid I might get sick if i continue sleeping so late please recover soon don't keep me worrying gotta take care time is running out there's less than 3 weeks to my trials shouldn't be so tired should nerd more shouldn't be here but there is somewhere I so wanted to go but won't be able to guess I should really stop this crap and go to bed and hope that my dreams will be sweet as for the dreams I NEED to accomplish will continue working hard towards them when I am regenerated no I won't give up again I say so I shall say a bedtime prayer now pray that tomorrow will be a better day God please give me renewed strength to continue what I left undone today I pray for good health pray to take away this tiredness pray that one day my dreams will all come true God please guide me, us and bless us O Lord Amen...


NitezzZ...

Run

Came across this really emo song --- Run by Leona Lewis... I like it better than Bleeding Love...

*I'm currently into L.L and Taylor Swift...lolx...*

I’ll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You’ve been the only thing that’s right
In all I’ve done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we’ll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

Donde?

Time is running out. It's getting nearer and nearer.
So near I could feel the chill of it against my heart. It's ICY COLD.
And the fear rising in me, could never warm me up a trifle...

Will I die in this cold?

I wanted to run. Away, away and away.
No, there's no where to hide.
There's no where to run. Gotta face it Face it FACE IT.

How am I gonna pass these long, slumberless nights?

And again, I'm tossing and turning in my bed.
Restless thoughts, troubled heartbeats...

When will the day break?

Where art thou, sunlight of the day?

Save me... please.

第三种人生

已经两天了。
那一种难受。
我不解，为什么当一切都一样地运行时，却又不再如从前一样了。回不去了吗？
也许是时候我该学习去习惯了。芷薏的第三种人生。记得吗，我说过的那三个阶段。
没有， 有，然后没有却还有。


感觉是幽幽的。可是我宁愿它可以激烈些。像六月的雨吧！来得快，去得快。

不过它不会。是来得快，来得突如其来了，却会像化为绳索一样，幽幽地捆绑着我。

它不会离去的。你未离去，它已到来。你要是离去，它只会跟随得更紧。幽幽地，缠缠绵绵。


是什么？让我低得很卑微。却又让我从卑微中开出了花来。那花很美。


无言了。怎么了？开不了口。
有些话说不出来。有些话不会说。有些话不该说。那么，不说了，不说了。

在风中抽泣，让风声掩去我的叹息。
在雨中哭泣，让雨滴掩饰我的泪滴。


但愿一觉醒来，会快乐些……

29-12-2008 (Monday)

A little belated post of a special day.



This was the day we accomplished so many things that even I myself was left in awe after the day was over. And such a superb day out too. Though kinda rainy, but the rain always stop in times of need. *Thank God!!!* So much fun I had.





Venue: Clearwater Sanctuary Golf Resort, Batu Gajah.





What we did:

1. Went to the gym.

Tried out every gym facilities there. From the threadmills to the yoga mat!!!

Normally the gym is deserted, and it was too the day we went. So it was like our private gym!!! Cool!!!





2. Went swimming.

In almost all the pools there, except the children's pool. Didn't like the 3 meters deep pool which looks kinda scary and dirty. But the 3 feet pool was cool, complete with a water slide. Played like a little kid. I do love swimming pools sometimes. Lolx... And I do love the refreshing feeling after the swim!!!

What's more, there are no other people in the pool when we were in it!!! Private pool?!





3. Went canoeing!!!

So this was a major victory. And this was the event that I ADORE most!!!

We went just after the rain, and the lake was so cooling and the breeze so refreshing... Ahh... even reminiscing of the event now make me feel so calm and at ease. It was a two-man canoe... with two paddles... whereby both of us have to synchronise our paddling movements to move right...

Even with all the omg-we-are-crashing-quick-paddal-to-the-left-oh-no-too-late-bang-into-the-reeds moments, it was a wonderful experience.



4. Finally, went cycling!!!

It's not your regular bikes. It's a double seater. Super-duper hard to balance on. And again, the synchronising theory. *a great way to 培养默契*

But we got the hang of it in a couple of minutes, and later on, we had so much fun on that thingy. But it's very tiring, especially the going uphill part, almost broke our legs paddling. But after the tiring uphill, then there's a great downhill thrill to experience. And oh wow, it was super THRILLING!!! BREATHTAKING!!! Okay I'm exaggerating, but then again, for someone like me who have speed phobia, it's kinda scar-eeeeeeeeeEEEEE!!! But I didn't feel as scared as I was supposed to be, and I'm sure that's cuz of you there in front of me...^_^ *it'll be bloody scary if I am riding alone*

The bike we rode... ain't it COOL?!!

Went home tired but happy. Sorry for the very typical way I end my post aka little report. But then again, it's a very fitting description... We are happy.

Hola, 2009!!!

Another new year. 2009. Time flies yea? And the digit '9' at the back reminds me that I'll be turning 19 this year. *though that is gonna be 10 months more to go...lolx...*


New Year resolutions? Surely there are loads. Too many for me to list down here one by one. But then again, some are priorities. And also, past promises.

I promised Mum and Dad to pass all my exams. To successfully be a doctor.
I promised Sifu to dance well. To be able to flaunt in latin dance competitions one day in future.
Promised myself to acheive all my dreams...


And for you, the little note of promises. Always kept near to my heart. I'll live up to them, don't worry. You too, take care.

And to Father Lord, always follow the path of righteousness. Living in the light of His words. Not forgetting to pray and give thanks always...


I pray that all will be well.
I pray for a blessed year ahead, for you and for me.
Amen.

********************

Btw, I got a belated Christmas present from Deutschland!!! * it travelled for 2 weeks to reach my house from there* Weeee..... 2kg of nice Germany chocolates and cute furry animals!!! Hehe... *But what if I got FAT eating all those chocolates?!! All of them are oh-so-tempting!!! *
Never mind I'll share them with people!!! *at least I won't be the only one to get FAT...lolx...*


A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO POLAR GOR GOR!!!





The look of it just after I opened the wrappings...
Sorry, but when I recieved it, it's already in a very battered state...

And again, a proof that those authorities are really rough in handling the shipping and mailing of stuff... *the same case with my dance shoes*

Sigh...

These are the contents of my Christmas present!!!
choco, choco and more choco!!! Fruits and Nuts, Yoghurt, mixed flavours, White Chocolate... What's more? Gummy bears and fluffy animals...!!!
Yummylicious rite?!

El Comienzo (2)

"This is your partner."

A nod. Smiles exchanged. He made a sheepishly cute gesture. He's no more than a boy. Tall, but young. Sixteen. She walked up and gave him her right hand, left hand resting on his shoulder.


"Now, let us start with the basic..."

Back, front, side, hips down... *twist a figure of 8
Front, back, side, hips down... *another reversed figure of 8
Repeat, and spot....turn. Back to close position.


Looked, looked again, tried with her partner. Got the steps right.
And again. This time, trying out both the steps and the technique. Back, front...
"Pull your body upright all the time, chest out..."

Nodded. And again, Back, front, side, hips.....down.
"Don't set your weight down on your hips before the beat. Hold it a little longer..."
"Boy, bend your legs a little. And remember the HIPS! This is not the Cha Cha."


And repeat. Underarm turn. Spot....turn... swayed a little...
"Watch your footing... Don't sway, don't stagger..."

And again. Spot... turn... still not a nice, swift turn.
"Keep your balance... I know it's hard on a 2 and a half inch especially when you are new. But try to work on keeping a sure landing of your foot all the time..."

And again and again. Spot... turn... land... hips down.
"Better... Keep this up. " A smile.

She let out a breathe, smiled back.


Teacher is always so patient in teaching them. In Teacher's patience, she could grow at ease of her own pace. And she was grateful for that. Afterall, she was a late beginner at the age of 18, unlike the other children. Moreover, she doesn't have any other basics to start with. She knew Teacher would understand that very well. But again, she wanted to do better, and still, to always improve.


"Now the Hand to Hand..."
"The Fan..."
" The Rhumba Walk..."
"The New York..."


So much to learn. Gotta work hard work hard. She was determined. Flung her hair back, wiped the sweat on her forehead. And again she tried. To be sure of each step, each move in the routine. To polish up her technique. To keep her feet's interaction with the floor. To glide along on point rather than lifting her feet even the slightest. To coordinate with her partner's steps...

And the most important Cuban Motion. Have to execute that well. It's like the soul of a nice Rhumba dance. Essential.


There's so much more to dancing than just steps...
And she knew she gotta work hard at it.

El Comienzo (1)

Finally, she was back. Took a deep breath, rang the bell. A little boy opened the door.
"Thank you."

Soft flowing curtains, glass partition doors. Pictures hung on the walls. A long black sofa in a corner, little cushion chairs around. Comfortably homely.

Faces; some familiar, some never seen before. They looked up, smiled, greeted, talked. Friendly faces, warm smiles. She felt so at home.
This is where I want to belong.


Guiro rhythm distantly sounding. The unmistakable 5/4 beat of the Cha Cha. That was the first dance she'd learnt. How long had that been? A year maybe?
Gosh, it's been such a long time. And I miss it so. She sighed.


Her gaze fell beyond the glass door. Watched her seniors chasse across the floor. Straight, slender legs. Dancer's body. Sleek, sharp moves. She watched in awe.
One day, I'm going to glide like them.

"Rhumba, over here..."

Took out her glittery dance shoes and strapped them on. Two and a half inch.

She strode past the glass door along with the others. A row of tall mirrors greeted her. Parquette floor. A Barré against the wall.

A pretty figure standing in front, back facing the mirrors. The familiar face, the ever-charming smile. She knew it so well.

"Hey teacher..."

"You're back..." A glitter in her eyes.

It's Coming...

Christmas is officially over.
Christmases are yet to come.
It's never the same again. At least not just yet in the next few years.

Father,

May every Christmas to come be full of Your blessings.

The rainy season had started.
Storms are yet to come.
It's going to be hard. At least I ain't gonna see it stop just so soon yet.

Father,

I'm preparing my heart. Grant us strength.

The road is coming to an end.

The journey had yet to start.

It's going to be long. At least long enough for the heart to grow fonder.

Father,

I need Your help. See us through.

Yet again,

The prayers will never end.

It's going to be alright in His presence...

Remember,

there are three things that endure,

and the greatest of all...

It never leaves you.

*Just close your eyes, and I'll be
there. *

I'm Still Learning...

I might be
at times whinning,
at times biting;
Noisily annoying.

I'm sorry
for all the hard times I'd given you;
Give me time,
For in your ever-forgiving patience,
I learn to grow.

One day,

I'll grow into a better Me,

the daughter you and I would wish to see.

*********

I might be
at times unexpressive,
at times quiet,
many times a dummy.

Forgive me,
Still a novice in the domain;
Give me time,
For in your ever-loving ways,
I learn the depths of Love.

Someday,

I'll show you my heart,

and all that you'd wish to find within.

Now, and always,

Together

let us be walking, in the shadows of the Cross;

Learning, His words;

Growing, in His holy light;

Rejoycing, His Love for us and in us;

Praising, for His blessings;

Glorifying Lord in every way.

Y de nuevo, te amo.

*And again, I love you.*

Shine Your Light On Me

Let the light, from the lighthouse,

let it shine on me!

I wonder, I wonder, if the light,

from the lighthouse,

would shine on me?

Here is my thought,

this is my plea!

Lord let your holy light shine on me.

I wonder will you, hear my prayer?

I know I'm not worthy,

but I need your help!

Lord shine your light, shine it this way,

Shine it so I can see which way to take.

My faith is in you,

to bring me through,

I have one question...

I wonder, I wonder,

if the light, from the lighthouse,

would shine on me?

And so I pray for your guidance, O Lord,

Let me walk the path of what is right,

Let me hold on to what I believe;

Not foolishly adamant,

but in the light of your words,

With the strength that comes from you,

dear Father.

I surrender to you now all that comes from you,

Lord shine your holy light upon me,

upon us,

and upon everyone else that needs You.

In Jesus most holy name I pray,

Amen.

¡Hola, Bonita!

*****BEWARE!!!*****

A Beauty coming your wayyyyyyy!!!!!

***

*********

*******************

*********

***

TADAA!!!!!!

Chill babe... Hang on a while...

Take a deep breath;

Here we go...

Whoa look!!!

A watch!!!

* Watches are Jiyi's best friends just as diamonds are a girl's best friends..*

Lolx...

Let's have a closer look!!! Zoom in, camera!!!

See the love-shaped clock-face?

It's oh-so-adorable!!!

Awwww...

Thanks so much!!!

***

One more beauty to add to my watch collection!!!

And a hyper memorable one too!!!

YAY!!!

*You're right, I AM lucky*

Nite nite, my dearie!!!

The End; Another Beginning

Waltz or not Waltz?
Sigh, I'm torn between. The sem break's ending soon, it's not really a good idea to continue with Waltz, cuz I might not be able to finish the beginner's level in time. And I HATE unfinished routines and lessons. But I oh-so-badly wanted to learn!!! And there's Samba too. Crep... so much to do, so less time left.


Time Time TIME.
It's always the problem of time. I'm always running, running and running after time. Exhausted yet still chasing. But still, I'm so short of time. Please, please. I NEED more time. Just a little more and I could have done more, I could have moved even closer.

If only I had more time.

And now, this lack of time is drawing me nearer and nearer to the death of my dreams. I'm helpless, so helpless. Tell me what could I do when I'm so running out of time?!
Nooo!!! It can't be. I'll never let it end like this, and pass to a state of grim nonexistence. Never.


But I guess what is supposed to come, will come; no matter how much I dreaded it. And again, this is not the only story that goes that way.

I should have known, the day you'll wave me goodbye...

It's time I learn. To learn to accept, when there's no way of changing what fate brings. I might well be frustrated, I might well be heartbroken; but still, have to accept and to make the best of everything.


You told me that after the death of dreams there'll be a rebirth of dreams. Yea, I'll keep your words in mind. I'm not throwing out the flames, I'm just keeping the fire low. Till the chance comes by one day.
There'll be the day.
There's still hope.

One day, all my dreams will come true.

First Week Of December

Been a bit busy over lotta stuffs this week...so many things that happened, I'm juz gonna sum up the week:

Monday

Went for driving lesson no 2 early in the morning. Learnt to go uphill. *it's not exactly a hill, juz a 20 degrees bukit...* But it's damn hard to master, mind you. The worst part keeping your left and right feet totally still, and pull the handbrake up and release it down again, without moving one other muscle. The theory is, keep your upper body detached from your lower body, so whatever your upper body does, your lower body does not follow... err....if you know what I'm crapping about. Lolx...

Never mind that, the point is, I don't really like driving. (restricted movements of legs, unefficient blood circulation, hot weather, crappy mood...etc etc) I'd much rather have a personal driver to drive me around, while I sit back and close my eyes... wakakaka...

Neways, gotta work work work work HARD!!!!! CANNOT FAIL CANNOT FAIL CANNOT FAIL...


Tuesday

Driving lesson no 3. Bukit again, plus the Three-point-turn. Today I did much better, especially at the bukit. Whew... Jiyi is finally getting the hang of it. Lolx. But I'm seriously "BURNT" today!!! ARGH... It's a torture to drive under the buring sun of 1pm - 3pm!!! The sun shines straight thru the opened car window and after the 2 hours of lesson, OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!! I'm darker by a few shades!!! Wahhhh.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


Wednesday

Had a real good day out today. Just wanna say, I'm really happy with every single little thing today, even if I have to sacrifice some of my sleeptime... haha... And every past problems are resolved all together this day. This day, there's no more tears, no more sadness, no more sleepless nights... I pray this will carry on forever.
I'm feeling like the luckiest gal on earth. And surely you know why...


Friday

A tired tired day. But everything's worth it. *wink*
Ran around Ipoh Parade for 5 hours. Up and down, east and west. Rummaged thru almost every single shop... Lolx...
Mission: In search of the ideal Christmas gift/gifts!!! *Oh, and not to forget, a nice Christmas card too! *
Note: Hope you'll like it...!!!


Saturday

Went swimming!!! ^_^ Such a long time I haven't had a nice swim already. And this is in my apartment pool!!! It's just like a private swimming pool. (minus the Malay kiddies at the other far end) So calm, so clean, so serene, so blissful...

What's better than a nice, cozy day as this?


Sunday

The long awaited dancing lessons again! Okay, so I know I'm still quite a noob, but I'm already working on it, very very HARD!!! Sigh... I would give anything to be able to dance like a pro.
It's Rhumba today...basic steps, Hand to Hand, Fan and Rhumba Walk...
The lesson was fun!!! but then again, dancing is always fun... Looking forward to the next lesson!!!
Oh, and I might have the chance to learn Waltz also!!! Wow!!! Ballroom dancing! I haven't learnt any dances in that field before! Hope I can have the chance soon... and when can I learn my favourite Tango? (lolx... advice to myself: Girl, you need to take one step at a time!)

*Dreading having to go back to Shah Alam... sigh...

Hope the new week ahead could be just as great, if not better!!!

Till the next time...

Nighty-nitez!

禰的恩赐

有一些东西，是一生一世都不会忘记的。


一定要记住快乐的感觉。你也一样。当以后即使有不快乐的时候，也可以回味一下。那便也笑了，呵呵，呵呵。希望会是当时那一种同样的快乐。该多好。

May happiness always be with him, Father.

那气息是一种很奇妙的东西。早已不在了，还是可以记得起。仿佛仍在五蕾上没有消失过。

会牢记那一种很希望时间会静止不动的……啊，当时的夜空多美。那空气里弥漫的……多让人惦念。只是时间没有停止过。还是那样地走；留也留不住。
那只有挥手说再见。挥手呀挥手， 像送船一样地挥手。没关系，都已镶在记忆的框框里了。
还记得当时说了什么吗？
还记得那一首歌吗？
还记得那些走过的每一个脚步吗？

I remember, it's beautiful, Father.

上帝给我有很多的安排。只是我暂时不知道而已。我相信祂会庇佑我的，一如祂爱护所有神的儿女。
我祈祷不用再这样掉眼泪了。但求从今能有多一些快乐。你也一样。

Take away the tears, Father.

恩赐。已是最大的恩赐。一样是你。

世界每一分每一秒都在改变。是有些东西却不会改变。是我坚守的。永远相信的。
早已烙印在心中……

I thank thee for thy great blessings, Father.

A blessing. Now, and forever.

****************

The Samba

Had a bad dream yesterday. Woke up shivering from fear, tears flowing down my cheeks. Was still kinda shaken from it. Been so long I haven't had a bad dream. But then again, I never wanted to have bad dreams... and surely not dreams like these.


Whew, but I felt better after practising my dance today. Dancing always helps me to forget all my unhappy feelings, it helps clear my mind; it somehow gives me strength and happiness. I really do love dancing, with all my heart.
So now, I should really gear myself up a little to face the big day. Lolx...


So I forced myself to focus more on the Samba today. It's quite hard for me, cuz I'd never really learnt much of it, unlike the Cha Cha or the Rhumba which I am more familiar with. So for the whole 2 hours, I replayed my favourite Samba song "Que El Ritmo No Pare" by Patricia Manterola and danced to it. It is an excellente song with a nice Samba beat to it... 1 uh 2, 3 uh 4, 5 uh 6, 7 uh 8. 3 steps formed to 2 beats.
And it left me so exhausted (but still, happy) at the end
of the day. ^_^




The Samba is a Brazilian dance, which is normally a carnival dance. It is a dance that is supposed to excite people and to bring people into a trance. (Not that I could do that though) The dancer has to try for a flirting, exaggeratedly happy interpretation in this dance. And Samba is mostly expressed with hip movements. Swift, exaggerated hip movements. It's somewhat a bit similar to belly dance.


I guess I need more time and loads more practise to execute the personality of the dance well. Wish me luck.