Dance Diary Part 7 - Of Bruises and New Challenges

Contemporary. Not something I had ever dreamt of doing.


But due to unforseen circumstances, I am struggling on a contemporary piece with nada basics at all to start with, and with a deadline looming just a week ahead. Merely a week to get a genre that is totally strange to me presentable for performance, omg, I FEEL the pressure the dancers experienced in SYTYCD. But if this is SYTYCD, I confirm GG dy.


One main lesson learnt about contemp --- You gotta immerse yourself into the dance.
Feel the music, move with the flow, express the feelings and tell the story with your body. For contemp, YOU DANCE WITH YOUR ENTIRE BODY. Forget about body isolation.
Certainly a new challenge for me, as one who is so used to being in the restricted frame of latin ballroom dance.


Worst still, we gotta practically 'throw' ourselves all over the dancefloor. Dear me, the bruises. Imagine jumping up high in the air, spin the other way, and land with your backside on the hard floor. Imagine running and throwing yourself face-down onto the floor, and then have another person land on top of you. Imagine 'crawling' on the floor with your hands. And there are the triple pirouettes. Omg, pirouettes. One thing I had never done before in my life, nor had I imagined myself doing... to be learnt in a week's time. Not a single pirouette, but a triple pirouette complete with another normal spin and finishing it off by dropping down onto the ground. Oh my my my... T.T


The whole process spelt H-A-R-D-S-H-I-P. And to top it off, it clashed with MEDTCH110 orientation, where I was supposed to be Orientation Officer for Group 9. And there was this special CNY function for IMU staff and lecturers, in which we were again, asked to perform our fan dance. Never knew that dance could be so in demand! And so, practically, I was up and about most of the time; practising my contemp, practising fan dance, running about with the juniors, having late night supper with my group... Tiring, and at times, I just wish to get some rest for my weary body and mind...

Signing off to bed.

ZZZzzzzzzz....

CNY @ Home

CNY is going to end soon. And I seriously don't wish it to. For one main reason, you'll be gone after CNY. Back to where you were supposed to be, to get on with a life you were supposed to live.

But you know what? We were supposed to be together too. Supposed to be by each other's side...

But why do we have to end up like this?

Visited my Sifu during the forth day of CNY, just as I did last CNY. Time flies yea? It seems like just yesterday that I was there, playing with her little doggie and chatting away, and now again I am there, and a year had already passed.

And yes I noticed, we both grew. Not so much physically, but mentally. A year could really change a lot of things. And it was indeed a rough year for both of us, which I came to know as we shared stories. For more than 3 hours we talked on, about stories of life, of love, and most of all, dance. There was a lot of emo talk when it came to dance politics and some certain people.

For one, Sifu told me about more betrayals and unappreciative students. People who left, people who were greedy, people who betrayed trusts, people who take advantages of empathy and kindness, people who did not know how to appreciate good deed done for them... And throughout the conversation, I realized that Sifu had became a much much stronger woman than before. I remember when I first met her more than two years ago, she was this innocent, carefree, bubbly, cute personality that loves to help and give selflessly, always thinking of others more than herself, happy and contented, living life like a little princess in her very own fairy tale.

I guess that was then. Before she was forced to face the ugliness of the world, before she had to learn that life was never a fairy tale and people who are too good are usually the ones who got hurt the most. In a way, I'm glad she learnt. I'm glad she changed, hardened her heart, so as to protect herself from getting hurt over and over again. Glad that she finally realized, and that in future, hopefully she would not be scarred as she was before. For I love her, and wish her to be happy. But then again, I'm also furious, furious at the people and the world, for forcing her into this change.

You see, if not for them, she wouldn't have had to change at all.
And I do miss her old self, loads.

But at least, she forgave. She did not lock herself up in the prison of an unforgiving heart. Instead, she learnt, and moved on. For that, I'm really proud of her. ^_^


Guess I gotta buck up and move on too. CNY is ending, uni is starting. You are leaving, life without you is starting. Dance is reducing, schoolwork is increasing.
There's always a wonderful balance in this world isn't it? For everything lost, there are things replacing. For every end, there is a beginning.

And hopefully, for the better.
Yupz, together, let us hope for the better!!!

Dance Diary Part 6 - Of Shaky Hands and Broken Fans

It's CNY and I'm back in Ipoh. The past week was a blur of colours; lectures, performances, celebrations... all these flew by so fast I couldn't even keep track of them. A very happening week, I would say. A tightly-packed schedule, a three-day-long CNY celebration, two dance performances, a birthday celebration, and a journey HOME!!! ^_^

I'll leave CNY happenings for later, as this is a dance diary, and I should focus more on ahem... dance. So the week started with lots and lots of practise, and late dinners. By about 9pm on Tuesday night when we were still training Latin, I was already very much exhausted. It wasn't easy to juggle two dances at one time, both so demanding in different aspects. For Latin I need to have high flexibility, speed and sharpness. For fan dance, I need to have good control of the fan, strength and musicality...


What's more, our Latin Dance performance was on Wednesday, and by Tuesday still, we were tired and aching, having difficulties executing stunts, as well as keeping up with the timing. My spins were wobbly, and our dance lacked energy. And frankly, I was pretty worried about not being able to be in top form to bring our best performance the next day. And the last thing I wanted to do, is to dissapoint my Sifu with such lousy performance. It was my first official Latin Dance performance, and I really wanted it to be good. I wanted to see where it would bring me, all that Sifu had taught me for the past months I had been learning from her. Most of all, I wanted to dance better than I was...


Wednesday came feeling a little more refreshed and energized. It was much better, the practise we had before our lecture. Things were getting right, and though still nervous as hell, I was feeling lighter. I danced with my new shoes, as the old pair was already pretty loose and wobbly. I didn't want to think that, but it might be high time my old pair of dance shoes are to retire. It was my first pair of dance shoes and I do treasure it a lot. It sure saddens me to think that I might not be able to dance in it anymore... T.T

Had to wear my Latin costume to lecture, beneath a jacket, due to lack of time to change after lecture. And when the time of performance came at about 1.30pm, we were already all dressed and waiting by the atrium with a large crowd circling the perimeter of the atrium from all floors. It was a little nerve-wrecking, the sight of it. There were even many friends of ours who purposely skipped the beginning of their lecture, just to stay back to watch us. For that, I am really really grateful.




















Was the performance well? Yeah. Was it good? Not really. But we did give in 100% of what our weary bodies could manage. I think the audience had a good time watching. But as dancers, we knew it wasn't a great performance. There were times our timing was a little off, there were times we weren't sharp enough, there were times our balance wasn't well, and there was an air of nervousness throughout. Wei Jin told me his hands were shaking throughout, and I think mine were too. The audience might not notice all of these, but it wouldn't escape the eyes of professionals. If my Sifu was here, I wonder what would she say.



Sorry Sifu, I still ain't nowhere near soaring yet. I wish you won't be dissapointed with me.

I had been your student for nearly two years; but I had only been learning for about 6 months. I don't know if other 6-month-old dancers were the same level as me, but I so hope I ain't the worst.


You see, as I said, I am never a talented dancer, just a passionate dancer. I wonder if the love could bring me far...?


Neways, we didn't get to rest. Not that soon. There was still Fan Dance to go on Thursday. Practice was gruelling, and throughout the night of practice, several fans were broken, due to over-using of strength while opening and closing our fans. That was the difficult thing about fan dance, we need strength to create the dramatic effect with our fan, but the strength had to be well controlled to not end up in a fan-breaking disaster. Our ciplak RM7.90 cloth fan isn't really that durable, to be honest.


And soon enough, Thursday came and went. And thankfully, I get to have some rest after such a hectic week. We didn't do really well in our Fan Dance though we did have a great time. If I could describe our dance in one word, it'll be... hilarious!!! Thanks to En En, and you'll know why. Actually for such a difficult genre done in such a short time, and consisting of so many people who aren't professionals, there ain't much to expect from. The synchronisation wasn't good, the energy level was lacking, the moves weren't expressive, some fan broke, some people forgot steps, some people halted midway in their dance to pick up money from the floor (that's En En)!!! We had a good laugh over everything after our performance, so it was an enjoyable experience all in all. ^_^

























P/S: Looking forward to visiting my Sifu a few days later!!!
And spending the New Year with you... =p

Btw, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Day 95 - Dance Diary Part 5 - Of Patience and Confidence

I thought my dance diary had to be temporary frozen when I am back to IMU, but strangely enough for this time, it's still hot and happening! *Yay!!!* =p

And seriously the amount of dancing didn't get any lesser when I am back here, instead, it increased... A LOT. Over the past week I had been here in IMU, there was not a day which I didn't dance. And for the past Friday and Saturday, I had been dancing for at least 5 hours per day! Firstly, we had to practice our Cha Cha routine to perform next Wednesday for the CNY Celebration Week. But mostly were to practise our Chinese Fan Dance routine which was pretty difficult, thanks to Wei Jin who found this routine which initially was danced by some China Dance Company/Dance School thingy... So you can imagine how good they are, and how hard it is to execute the routine the way they did. And that being said, if I were to ever be able to dance so well, I won't be in IMU in the first place, I'll be happily earning my dance degree in some prestigious Art School, rather than reserching on Streptococcus sp. for my annoying PBL tomorrow...


The problems didn't end here; we couldn't find a good fan. Initially we bought a ciplak furry red plastic fan, which furs fall off after only one day of practice. The incredible Wei Jin even tore his fan into strips of sticks. So much for our RM5.90 furry fan. We had to buy new ones in Petaling Street, this time, a red-cloth-wooden-handle fan. This fan is bigger, but harder to control too. Especially for a left-handed person like me. *Sigh*




So that spells MORE MORE MORE TRAINING!!!


You see, as much as I love dancing, I was never a talented dancer. Dance doesn't come easy to me. For one, I never really knew how to use my body. I wonder why I wasn't like other girls when I was young, curious about doing cartwheels, bridges and splits... Seriously when I was young, I never even did anything as much as shaking my hips before. Maybe because of my shy personality, I never dared to. And now I pretty much regretted it, having to train my stiff bones and body to do all those splits and spins and moves they had never explored before. It amazes me how much human body can actually do, each time I see a new move or style. Though much as I wanted to achieve them all, there were still limits to my ability. Born with MVP and hence being generally weak, also made things harder for me, as long hours of dancing drains me fast.


But just so you know, a slow learner as I am, I do still presevere in learning what I really wanted to learn. Different types of dances, different types of moves. It might take me long, it might distress me at times, but for the love of it, I never gave up. Do forgive me for the times I lagged behind, for the times I couldn't comprehend the mechanisms of each move, for the times I lost my confidence and wavered in my steps. Give me time, and slowly I'll improve.


However, I understand not every teacher out there could be that patient. For this, I really would like to thank my Sifu, for all the patience she had for me, for all her encouragements and efforts to lift me up even when I was slow and unsteady. She never extinguishes my confidence. Don't get me wrong, she does critic me a lot, maybe just the way she presented it. And I am really grateful. You see, new, shy and afraid as I was when I first took up Latin dance, I suppose if she wasn't tactful enough, I might have just thought of myself as a total failure and never dared to dance again. It is all because of her that I grew from a super shy girl to who I am today, braver, more confidence, more motivated.


When my parents thought I was only wasting my time, when my friends doubted me... my Sifu was the only one who was there to support me, through the difficult, low self-esteem phase. Even now, there are people who still doubted me, there are people who still looks down on me; for times as such, I couldn't say that it does not affect me; truth is, it hurts a lot, and it does bring me down.

Sifu's the one who lifted me up again, forever like a confidence booster to me. She might not be the most skilled teacher in the world, but to me, she's the best. Always my inspiration. Without her, I wouldn't have made it this far.


And now, I'm missing her a lot. *sob*

Cha Cha performance next Wednesday! Even when I'm tired, I shall train well.
Gotta make Sifu proud. ^_^




















Praying hard,
Christine