CNY @ Home

CNY is going to end soon. And I seriously don't wish it to. For one main reason, you'll be gone after CNY. Back to where you were supposed to be, to get on with a life you were supposed to live.

But you know what? We were supposed to be together too. Supposed to be by each other's side...

But why do we have to end up like this?

Visited my Sifu during the forth day of CNY, just as I did last CNY. Time flies yea? It seems like just yesterday that I was there, playing with her little doggie and chatting away, and now again I am there, and a year had already passed.

And yes I noticed, we both grew. Not so much physically, but mentally. A year could really change a lot of things. And it was indeed a rough year for both of us, which I came to know as we shared stories. For more than 3 hours we talked on, about stories of life, of love, and most of all, dance. There was a lot of emo talk when it came to dance politics and some certain people.

For one, Sifu told me about more betrayals and unappreciative students. People who left, people who were greedy, people who betrayed trusts, people who take advantages of empathy and kindness, people who did not know how to appreciate good deed done for them... And throughout the conversation, I realized that Sifu had became a much much stronger woman than before. I remember when I first met her more than two years ago, she was this innocent, carefree, bubbly, cute personality that loves to help and give selflessly, always thinking of others more than herself, happy and contented, living life like a little princess in her very own fairy tale.

I guess that was then. Before she was forced to face the ugliness of the world, before she had to learn that life was never a fairy tale and people who are too good are usually the ones who got hurt the most. In a way, I'm glad she learnt. I'm glad she changed, hardened her heart, so as to protect herself from getting hurt over and over again. Glad that she finally realized, and that in future, hopefully she would not be scarred as she was before. For I love her, and wish her to be happy. But then again, I'm also furious, furious at the people and the world, for forcing her into this change.

You see, if not for them, she wouldn't have had to change at all.
And I do miss her old self, loads.

But at least, she forgave. She did not lock herself up in the prison of an unforgiving heart. Instead, she learnt, and moved on. For that, I'm really proud of her. ^_^


Guess I gotta buck up and move on too. CNY is ending, uni is starting. You are leaving, life without you is starting. Dance is reducing, schoolwork is increasing.
There's always a wonderful balance in this world isn't it? For everything lost, there are things replacing. For every end, there is a beginning.

And hopefully, for the better.
Yupz, together, let us hope for the better!!!

Day 67 - Dance Diary Part 1 - Of Latin and Ballroom

Phew, a week had passed since I left IMU to indulge in this wonderful holiday... *hmmm*

A weekful of yummy Ipoh food! (Fattening, but ahh, worth it, for food like these! =p)
A weekful of luxurious 10-hours-per-day sleep! (Srsly, I sleep like a pig nowadays)
A weekful of not touching any academic related stuff! (COP included...T.T)

What's more, a weekful of INTENSIVE DANCING!!! As in intensive, I don't mean 24/7, but still for one like me who am dance-deprived for half a year, three times a week IS intensive! And I only mean lessons... (not including the hours of practise at home =p)


Important announcement: I'm taking up BALLROOM for the 1st time in my life this holiday!!! (totally hyped-out....OMG.... *dancing crazily around the room* )

No more just chacha, rumba, samba & jive for me... now there's tango and waltz too!!! More to come I hope! Weeeeee!!!!!!! TANGO!!! Oh my, I had been wanting to dance that for soooooo soooo long!


Thanks to you Chin Yaw for being willing to be my partner!!! Yes, I have a partner!!! (Not permanant since he's leaving to NZ again soon...sob...) but still, God knows how much I appreciate it, you know! Considering that you ain't really into dancing & how a noob I am especially in ballroom! T.T


It tires me out pretty much, the amount of learning & even more, practice; and Ballroom proves to be hard, much harder than I thought... And especially when you have a new teacher who's a perfectionist till the very detailed. Si, I have a new teacher (and his partner too) to teach us Ballroom as Sifu doesn't have that much time to teach me both Latin and Ballroom... (not that much of energy too, considering that I am a pretty difficult student...nyek nyek...)


Anyway, this post is to be continued, as I'm uber tired now & gotta get some rest... (the time below is wrong, fyi... it's AM, not PM) So... ciao for now!

P/S: Details to come! A little insight, it'll be about 'some stories', theories & techniques, my new teacher, and my dear old Sifu!!! (How nice to see her again! I do miss her so...! What's more, she's still prettier than ever!)


Nitey-nitezzzzZZ,
Christine

One Voice

Been pretty long I hadn't read the news. And as I flipped through a copy of NST in the lounge today, it is still as depressing as newspapers used to be. How many happy faces could you count in the papers? Maybe none except those of the celebrities on the entertainment section...

Political squabbles still going on; along with backstabbing and verbal wars. People killing and people dying--- Man found mutilated... Police seek 6 men in rape case... Boy drowns, another missing... Pilgrimage centres turn into sex hubs... scandal-tainted chief detective replaced...


It's too distressing to continue reading anymore. It reminds me of a line out of Billy Gilman's song - "And mum won't watch the news at night, there is too much stuff that's making her cry..."

Sometimes I wonder what had become of the world now.
We are seriously in need of salvation, O merciful Lord... A thousand prayers, a million words, will this one voice be heard?


It's raining outside. And I wish you a safe journey home. I wish I could go home too. It's been so long since I went back, and seriously I miss home. Guess I need to take a break and go home, just to rest and refresh my mind. Take a break, from all the weariness of life here. From all that weighs me down for all this time. And again, there's really no place like home...

The day before, I went out to some shopping mall. While queuing up to buy food, I had the time to observe the people around me. There was this scene I just couldn't erase from my mind: A richly dressed couple and a young boy came out of a toy shop, the boy happily holding a plastic bag containing a large Transformer toy. Not far from them, there was another boy, maybe a year or two older than him, staring admiringly back and forth from the shop to the kid with the new toy, before his mother came and hurried him away. He obeyed in silence, strange enough for a longing kid in front of a shop full of tempting toys. Judging from the way they dressed, I guess they were not really well off. What that I could never forget was the look on the boy's face when he took a last glance back again, as he was dragged off. There was something in his eyes that struck me hard, the sad disappointment and helpless understanding.

It brought me back to when I was young, and there was this big expensive toy dog in a shop window, one that I had always wanted but my parents wouldn't afford to buy. And one day I went to a classmate's house, and she has an exact same one, sitting on her big big bed.


It was those times that you couldn't help feeling sad and frustrated with the life that you had.

Some kids have and some kids don't, and some of us are wondering why...


Over the years, while tasting the bitterness of poverty, I had learnt to get used to lots of circumstances of not having what other kids have. But as learning goes, it was not always that easy. There were times when my parents had to give me a good spank to stop me from demanding. And over the course of time, I learnt to keep my mouth shut, and all my feelings to myself. Now that I think of it, I wonder if it was a good way for a child to grow. But still, I'm not going to complain of who I am made into today. At least, those were some experience not other kids could have.

And this time around, I've got something that they don't.


What's more, I learnt to appreciate and give thanks for every little thing that I have in life, maybe much more than them. For every little thing, I see them as a great blessing from God.

And indeed, I'll feel blessed.