Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Day 1 - Barely Surviving

It sure as hell hurts. And I just couldn't act like it doesn't. Apparently, many a time, these stubborn tears tend to give me away. It's a good thing you didn't see them, for I looked away everytime you caught my eyes. Sorry if I might seem rude, I just wanted to hide my pathetic tear-filled eyes. Just hope you'll understand.


I'm sick. It's already been a week but I just didn't seem to recover, nor get any better. And the major hike is coming soon. Yes, I'm going to the hike. Think I need a good break, to get my mind off everything, to rest this wounded heart, and to... just breathe. Yeah, I need to breathe. And maybe... just maybe, even have some fun too. All these had been suffocating me for so long. Only 2 more days to go. I pray hard that I'll be fine by then. You too.


She kept asking me to go back to my unit, since I can't really study in the library either. But I couldn't find a reason to go back, not anymore. I'd prefer to stay in IMU, where it'll be less lonely with people around. At least I won't cry that much. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night, waking up the next morning to put on the smile that is nothing more than a mask to me now. One which at times, could even be too much for this weary heart of mine to carry.


Sometimes I wonder, if I could ever really smile again; when happiness just seems so far away...


Deeply hurt,
Christine

1 comment:

sEnGz said...

time doesn't heal.... God does!!! Take care sis!