Changes

And again, changes.

Had been months since I was back in Ipoh.
I could barely recognize this place I call home, as my bus exited the Simpang Pulai toll. Took me awhile to figure out that the bus was indeed heading towards Medan Gopeng, given the new buildings all along the road that was once just trees or wooden houses.

So many changes, over just a few months! There is this new corporate park. And there are new city decor. There are more cars. There is more unfamiliarity.
Whoa, guess I really had been away for quite a while.


It isn't really time to blog now, for my End Of Semester exam is just round the corner. These days I had to constantly remind myself that this isn't holidays yet, just a study break.
That I would have to leave home yet again, about a week later, to face the dreaded exam.
That I still have loads to study, and so little time left.
That if I wanted my real holidays, I shouldn't sit back at all for this study break.


I miss home, I miss my family, I miss Ipoh food, I miss dancing, I miss sifu, I miss my guitar, I miss driving, I miss just every sight and smell here.

But this isn't time to enjoy them, just yet. T.T


And again, anatomy of the heart. I realized just how much I had forgotten. And to think that it was only months ago when I had learnt them all by heart. Afterall, how could someone not know their heart by heart?

Gotta work harder, gal. You are lagging behind.

There are so much work to cope with, it makes me tired, and makes me sick ever so often. Indeed, ever since I had been to IMU, I ALWAYS fell sick.

Mom has been worried. And I feel bad for making her worry about me all the time. Why couldn't I be like the others? Why couldn't I live life like a med school student, and still stay healthy as everyone else do? And I never even stayed up as late as the others, never even starved myself.
But still I fall sick more often then everyone else.

Life isn't fair, I've learnt to know.


I need to pass EOS. Have to. For myself, for my parents.

Even when my mum told me it's ok if I do fail, she'll let me learn dancing, and be a FULL-TIME DANCER like my Sifu... I WOULDN'T let that happen.

I really don't want to dissapoint my parents.


Father Lord, I pray that you'll help me through. I'm asking for a grace that I do not deserve, but dear Father, I will work hard. I will do my best, Father. Most of all Father, please bless me with a healthy body and mind. Pray that I will have the strength and wisdom that come from you, Father. To face these challenges of this exam, and not be afraid, nor be weary. For deep in my heart I know, that you'll be with me, every step that I take. I love you, Father.
Amen.

Now... back to nerding...
15 more days to EOS... T.T