I Am Here

The morning bus came rumbling down the lane and I set my eyes on it. It's Wednesday again and my arms are filled to the brim with my thick core maths textbook, chemistry, statistics, and a file loaded with past years. Those stuff weigh a tonne I suppose, and they really do weigh me down at times. Everyday's just the same; I board the bus, struggle in class, and board the bus again back to my hostel room, only to struggle with my books again. Being here, in INTEC, this daily routine had, somehow, became so much a part of my life. The part which I had always wanted to shake off, I wanted it gone, but nevertheless it clings to me just as strong.

And only now, I come to realise that I actually couldn't bear to part with it, afterall.

I used to be fighting, at times whinning, at times grumbling, and they ain't doing me no good. I AM HERE. Am here and only supposed to be here. This was what I've came to realise after being a noisy jerk for so long.

I am here. And since I'm here, I should have to be HERE. And not running away as I always did. There ain't no home for me out there; ain't no here for me out there.

I am here, and only here do I belong.

Thank God for making me realise. And bless me with the strength to stay here, oh Lord. Though I need to venture, let me stray with my feet still standing firm on this place I call here. Lord, please be with me. Amen.