Dance Diary Part 17 - Hello Boys!!!

The Hello Boys --- I just learnt a few weeks back that it was the much cooler name for The Wrist Seat. Can totally get where the name came from! Ahem... surely not the most decent pose to strike but who cares. =P 

Here's another picture of The Wrist Seat aka The Hello Boys for those who are clueless about what I am talking about.

It looked awesome on video so I decided to try it. Got a few tips from my teacher Jamie too. Took me about a week and multiple unsuccessful attempts and sore wrists.. but guess what, I CAN FINALLY DO IT!!! The trick was to get the wrist directly under your bum to support your weight (which can be pretty taxing to your wrist) and with the dominant hand up top to kind of support yourself while you lean back and spread your legs. *cough cough now it sounds wrong*

Also this is already week 10 of my pole-venture and updates:

• Basic spins - checked (still need work on my bracket grip though)
• One handed basic spins - checked (on static pole, not quite yet on spinning pole though)
• The Cradle - checked

• Inverted grip moves - checked (I'm really improving on my inverted grips!)
• The Carousel + Carousel Spin - checked (I am so happy I finally got this!)

• The Hello Boys - checked (WOOHOO!!!)
• Basic Climbing - checked (gotta work on the other grip styles though)
• Crucifix , The Seat and Extended Seat - checked
• Hip Lock and Drop - half-checked (got into the hip lock position, but not able to drop yet)
• Butterfly Handstand - checked (Thanks Sarah for spotting me in the beginning!) 

• Basic Inversion - checked yay! But not strong enough to go hands-free into Inverted Crucifix yet (Thanks Jamie for giving me a push the first few times when I wasn't strong enough to pull myself up!)

I don't know if I had mentioned this already but I really am falling in love with this dance! And I love how much fitness there is in it too! It's like going to a really fun gym (sorry but I hate mundane work outs eg weights and treadmills) and I get to work all my muscles the fun way!!! Especially upper body strength and core. Omg I had such weak arms and such lousy core. Sarah (my other teacher) was like: "Gotta work those skinny chicken arms!" (it's even worse than chicken legs I suppose, as chickens don't even have arms!) 

Anyway, I'm glad I'm actually working out again. It had been wayyy too long since I quit gym (and subsequently my latin-ballroom social class) and since then, I have turned into this big fat blob of wobbly jelly with disproportionately skinny arms. Time to get back in shape!!! Hazzah!  

So homework for after exams (yes I was on hiatus again due to exams):

• Work on my bracket grip (why can't I get it yet! *frustrated)
• Continue working my upper body strength and my core (hopefully lose some weight and get more muscular too)
• Work on getting into handstand position front-on
• Get strong enough to lift myself with ease into a basic invert
• Work on my Inverted Crucifix, that is to condition my legs to be strong enough to grip on while I let my hands go
• Work on my Corkscrew Spin & Achilles Spin
• Work on my Pixie Up 
• Learn some new moves (eg: Straddle Spin, The Butterfly...)

And probably eventually be good enough to learn The Flag Figures!!! 

Not sure what the name of this move is, but I'll call it Pseudo-Flag (medical term alert!)

And my ultimate dream move!!!

Till the next update. Hopefully I will bring more good news. 

Love,

Christine

Dance Diary Part 16 - Pole-Dancing

Yup you didn't read my title wrong.

Funny how people used to say: When God closes a door, He opens a window? Yeah, God is good. In the midst of my despair, about half a year after I left the only little studio here where I had my latin/ballroom/new vogue social classes (that alone is a long story); He opened a window for me --- pole-dancing.

I know you might laugh. I remember how back in Malaysia, everyone has this impression that pole-dance = stripper = hooker. I had always begged to differ, though I never really had the courage to take it up back in those days. But back then I had my Latin, and it was always enough for me. But no, unlike most of my studio-mates I was never that skeptical about pole dancing, I've always seen it as an art, just like any other dance. And it was my first pole lesson that I came to realize that it is that, and more.

I remember when I was 17, I went for my first Latin dance class. It was Cha Cha. And I fell in love with it right from the first chasse.

I was brought back to that memory when my pole instructor, Jamie taught us the first spin, The Fireman. I was glad, so pleasantly surprised that I found myself in love with this new dance, just the way I did 6 years and a lifetime ago. I thought I might find it with Salsa, Burlesque and everything I had tried since then, but it was Pole that got to me.

And now it is week 5 since that first faithful lesson. And I just have to say, I love it even more. How on earth could I have not discovered this dance right from the first day I am here in Tassie? Why oh why did I wait almost 2 years before I started? Two long agonizing years. =(

I should've trained harder too in the past years. Now I have pathetic upper body strength, and since it is a pre-requisite for pole dancing, I am pretty much struggling whenever it comes to holding body weight up on the pole (eg: the V grip, The Pencil, Pixie Up etc). Gotta train hard starting from now! At least get strong enough to do men push-ups (okay don't laugh but I can never do men push-ups, only the girly ones)...

*********
So new checklist:

• 20 push-ups per day (increase by 5 every day & hopefully convert to men's push up in time)
• 3 minute planking (increase by 15 secs per day)
• Weights (start with 5kgs, at least 10 reps for each muscle group)
• Work on my handstand
• Practice the V grip and master it for all my spins

The V Grip for The Fireman

• Work on my Butterfly Spin and some other variations (I forgot their names)

• Work on The Pencil and Pencil Spin

• Perfect my Seat, Crucifix and Extended Seat variations

The Seat

Extended Seat - variations

• Learn the Wrist Seat!!! 

One day that'll be me!

That should be enough for now. Till the next lesson where I'll have to add The Cradle to my list...

Gotta work those barely-existing muscles!!! *feeling motivated*


Spinning off,
Christine

Dance Diary Part 15 - Of A Little New Life

Oh how long had it been? Since my last dance diary in Aug 2011. It's really about time. It makes me sad to think that my dance journey has actually been on hiatus for two whole years! Surely there are the little bits and pieces; like a couple of salsa classes and social dances and picking up New Vogue... but there wasn't much Latin at all. I was devastated... I still am. There is always a part of me that feels like I've failed myself and my teachers.

Where was that promise of continuing to dance wherever I am, whatever I do? (I do still dance, but it's not Latin, and it'll never be the same)  
Where were those dreams and passion and determination?
What about never ever letting that part of me go? 

Without dance, I am just another cold, pompous little soul in a white coat, stuck in a dead-end job, going about the same routine for the rest of my life. What about variations, what about versatility?


It had been half a year since I last did any Latin, even socially.
It really kills me, leaving my single greatest dream.


But then suddenly out of the crypts of my despair, out of the carcass of my fallen dreams, there is something new. It is only tiny, but great. Never as great as its predecessor, but it might... might just be enough for me. And that is all I am seeking for at the moment. A little piece of myself I can still grasp in my hands. A little something that makes me still feel REAL despite everything. And I desperately needed that.


Till the one day I can live my dreams again. No I've never forgotten, Yulia, blackpool and all of it  =)


Signing off,
Christine    

One Day

There is a story I need to finish.
The one about you.
I started up to Chapter 2. And then it was too hard to go on without tears blurring up my vision.

Too painful to recall, too difficult to write about.

How could I ever describe your smile? Your eyes? Your voice? Will my words ever do you justice? Does perfect even come close to summing you up as you are?

Would you ever believe there is this girl who is so crazy about you?
Would you, in your new life, ever think about her, even so fleetingly?
Would you... ever love her back? 

One day, I'll finish my story. One day, it'll get easier.
Guess I just needed more time. Although it is about 300 days now, and counting.

Maybe then, maybe then.

Picking Up The Pieces

How long will I be picking up the pieces?

How long will I be picking up my heart? 

I guess it would be forever.

I had a dream last night. It was her, but somehow it was you. I knew it was you because it felt more like you. She was beautiful, but you were perfect. And it was perfect in my dream.

How warm was the embrace! There was no where else I would like to be.
How close together were our bodies! I could feel your heart beating against mine.
How intense was the feeling inside! I could almost see it spilling out into the atmosphere. 

Planting soft kisses down your neck... feeling your hot breath on mine.
Am I to dream only in my dreams?

Sweet sweet scent of hers; yours.
It was you I had always loved. In a thousand lives, in a thousand years, in a thousand places. It will still be you.

We held each other tight. A drop of tear trickled down my left cheek. The only thing that could be real.

When I wake up, you'll be gone. And I know I wouldn't be able to find you, just as always. Not in any faces that I see. Not in a thousand cities, not on any day or night. You're here, but never will be.

Mine.  

I really miss you, you know?

Who am I now?

I am so sorry. It feels like I am straying away from all that I had ever wanted in life. Away from dance, away from writing and blogging, away from everything that I used to love and enjoy. And trust me, I used to love A LOT of things. But now, it seems as though I am too old and too tired for any of them. As a medical student, my hypochondriac nature kicks in, is this the early signs of depression?!!
Oh please don't. Last thing I want is to juggle depression when there are so many more issues in my life to handle right now.
Forth year is crazy. Just crazy. DOCTORS HAVE NO LIFE. I am sure of that. I am not yet a doctor, but I already had NO LIFE. And there is NO WAY it will get any better from hereafter. Everyday I am running on the same routine --- 7.30am to 7/10pm in the hospital; back home to cook, clean, bathe, tidy, study and sleep. And when I open my eyes the next day, the same cycle begins. I mean hospitals are alright, there are interesting times too, babies and kids are cute, I get to do much more stuff... but there is constantly a weak little voice shouting inside my head saying; this is wrong. This is so terribly wrong. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Not just like this. 
There used to be so much more.

When will I ever have time anymore for dance classes, social dance nights, dance practices, dance-choreographing, drooling at Yulia Zagoruychenko...?
Where are the good old days of hanging out with my friends, jamming away in the music room trying to make rockstars out of ourselves?
Where are all my dreams, my aspirations, my ambitions? Why don't I feel inspired anymore? Why don't I feel motivated anymore?
Will I ever be that girl I used to be? The one who has the energy and passion for everything beautiful; believes in life and love; indulges in art and creativity, always trying to look at the world through different lenses and letting her imaginations run wild; tuned to her emotions; open to all possibilities and in awe of all wonders of the world...

I realize I can no longer be that girl again.
I think I lost all that I am, all that I ever had. I don't know who I am anymore.
These days I can't even feel anything. My heart's just blank most of the time. And frankly, the blankness scares me.

I am even struggling to write right now.

I guess I'll sign off. Till the next time, hopefully I would have been less of a mess then. I need to get my head around, pick up the pieces, gather myself up. Reorganize my thoughts. Remotivate myself. Find new inspirations. Learn new things. Get over being depressed. Get over you.
And... GET BACK TO DANCING!!! I THINK CHRONIC DANCE DEPRIVATION IS KILLING ME.

Yes, it is definitely a valid diagnosis. CHRONIC DANCE DEPRIVATION.
Prognosis: Poor (at times fatal) if not promptly managed.

Stupid brain. Thinking in medical terms again. Gotta go before I start writing an admission for myself. Tata.