And I miss you now...

How long had it been?
Since I last saw you.
I find I could not seem to recall your face as easily as I once did.

And your smell, your presence, your touch....

Fading steadily away...
I tried to close my eyes, tried to grasp hold of the frail memories of you...

but all is gone. Like shadow, like smoke. 

Was it all a dream?
Your smile, your warmth, your hold...

If it were, how I wish I could've never woke up...

Fading...
Your touch that once lingered on my skin.
Fading...
Your warm breath down my neck.
Fading...
The tingles you once sent down my body.

My hands,

don't wanna start again,

My hands,

no they don't wanna understand,

My hands,

they just shake it try to break whatever piece I may find... 

They just couldn't bring back to me the same feelings you once filled me with...
They couldn't even warm me in these cold nights as you always could...

I guess they just weren't the same as...

your hands.

*******
So fast I had climbed back up, just to fall into another pit-hole again. What was I thinking?!!

My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea,

You touched me once and it's really something,

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be...

I used to be much cooler than this. But why oh why do I always lose my cool when I'm with you?

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world,

But with you, I know it's no good... 

And I had promised never to fall again! Sigh... My bad...

But guess I am one who'd rather hurt than to be heartless...

Dummy me. =(

*******
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to undo some things.
Like words that I said... or should have said.
Like things that I did... Or did not do.

I should've studied harder.
I should've said something when that happened.
I should've hugged you and never let go.
I should've stopped you.
I should've stopped myself.
I should've the right mind to not keep loving you.
I should've cared less.
I should've paid more attention in lectures.
I should've worked harder in my dance.
I should've known my timing better.
I should've realized earlier.
I should've bought better shoes.
I should've read you better.
I should've listened to my friends.

I should've told you, I actually do love you... 

Too much that I regret of. If only I could go back and set it all right again... Would things have been different?



*******
Watched Penang International Dancing Championship 2010 on TV the other day.
Realized just how much I missed those times.

And I still do.

I miss dancing like we did before.
I miss learning and learning and LEARNING.
I miss the overloading knowledge. 
I miss trying to improve and impress.
I miss drillings.
I miss hanging out with danceworld family.
I miss the aching muscles, bruised toes, sweaty hands... but happy smiles.

I miss technique class and bronze class as they were like before.


*******
Sometimes, it felt like ages since my last real dance with you...

These days,I wonder if my Rumba will ever be the same again? =(

And I miss you now...

How I wish to go back to November again...